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2017 NFL Mock Draft: Fictional Character Edition

HERO Sports by HERO Sports
April 14, 2017
2017 NFL Mock Draft: Fictional Character Edition

It's NFL Mock Draft season and analysts are pouring out mock draft after mock draft. To take a break from the usual mock drafts, let's take a different angle — where would the best movie and TV football players head to in this year's NFL Draft?

Here we send out the best the big (and small) screen has to offer to NFL homes. 

NFL_Pick_Predictions_728x90

There are a few players on this list from fictionalized versions of real athletes, but let's be serious — Friday Night Lights and Remember the Titans were loose adaptations, so we'll let it slide. 

Now, on to the draft!

[divider]

cleveland browns logo1. Cleveland Browns

Bobby Boucher, LB – The Waterboy

​The Cleveland Browns have a ton of holes to fill in their roster, and they get a gamechanger in South Central Louisiana State University Mud Dogs linebacker Bobby Boucher. The guy is a sack machine — he set a record with 16 sacks in one game. Talk about production. 

​[divider]

san francisco 49ers logo2. San Francisco 49ers

Julius Campbell, DE — Remember the Titans

One of the best defensive players in the draft, Julius Campbell can step in immediately to help the 49ers defense. He proved he could step up as a team leader after a tragic accident left his teammate, Gerry Bertier, paralyzed, and he led his team to a state championship.

[divider]

chicago bears logo3. Chicago Bears

​Ivory Christian, DT — Friday Night Lights (Movie)

Possibly one of the most underrated players in the entire draft, Texas-Permian's Ivory Christian just gets the job done. He's soft spoken and doesn't attract a lot of attention, but he speaks loudly with his play. On the rare occasion he does speak out, you definitely need to listen.

[divider]

jacksonville jaguars logo4. Jacksonville Jaguars

Luther Shark Lavay, LB – Any Given Sunday

A certifiable wrecking ball in the defensive front seven (I mean, it's Lawrence Taylor), Lavay is an absolute monster to deal with. He might have some off the field concerns, but on the gridiron, he'll get the job done.

[divider]

tennessee titans logo5. Tennessee Titans (from Los Angeles Rams)

Alvin Mack, LB — The Program

Tennessee has two first round picks so they can afford to take a gamble on a player with huge upside but obvious injury concerns. Mack is an absolute playmaker at linebacker when healthy.

[divider]

new york jets logo6. New York Jets

Willie Beamen, QB – Any Given Sunday

The Jets are in desperate need of a quarterback who can not only perform on the field but handle the pressure of being a QB for a New York team. Beamen checks both boxes.

[divider]

7. Los Angeles Chargers

Deacon Moss, WR — The Longest Yard

Hands down the most talented receiver in the draft (Like, Michael Irvin-type skills), Deacon Moss will give Philip Rivers a dangerous weapon on the outside. Obvious criminal history aside, Moss might be the most talented player in the draft.

 

[divider]

carolina panthers logo8. Carolina Panthers

Brian "Smash" Williams, RB — Friday Night Lights (TV)

Another player with some injury history, Smash Williams is a gamechanger at full speed. The former Dillon Panther is a touchdown machine and will pair nicely with Cam Newton to form a fearsome backfield.

[divider]

cincinnati bengals logo9. Cincinnati Bengals

Joey Battle, LB — The Longest Yard

Character concerns aside (I mean, he is in prison), Joey Battle is a monster of an inside linebacker. Good luck getting past him.

[divider]

buffalo bills logo10. Buffalo Bills

Rod Tidwell, WR — Jerry Maguire

The Bills need a talented wide receiver, and Tidwell fits the bill perfectly. He might not love it in Buffalo, but he can make plays.

​[divider]

new orleans saints logo11. New Orleans Saints

Charles Jefferson, OLB/DE — Fast Times at Ridgemont High

The Saints are in desperate need of defensive help and with two first round draft picks can solidify their defensive front seven with a big time playmaker in Charles Jefferson.

[divider]

cleveland browns logo12. Cleveland Browns (from Philadelphia Eagles)

Shane Falco, QB – The Replacements

Cleveland has already added the best defender in the draft, now they grab a quarterback who's game-ready in Shane Falco. He's got some issues, but that seems to be a prerequisite to be a Browns quarterback.

[divider]

arizona cardinals logo13. Arizona Cardinals

Vince Howard, QB — Friday Night Lights (TV)

Arizona grabs the quarterback of their future with the 13th pick. Vince Howard is loaded with potential but still needs some refinement. If he pans out he could be the steal of the draft.

[divider]

philadelphia eagles logo14. Philadelphia Eagles (from Minnesota Vikings)

James "Boobie" Miles, RB — Friday Night Lights (Movie)

Injury concerns aside, Boobie Miles can flat out play. He can do it all — run, pass, catch, and score touchdown after touchdown.

[divider]

indianapolis colts logo15. Indianapolis Colts

Spike Hammersmith, S — Little Giants

This kid has literally been bred to play football, and the Colts get an upgrade at linebacker. Gotta work on those social skills, though.

[divider]

baltimore ravens logo16. Baltimore Ravens

Cheeseburger Eddie, TE/WR — The Longest Yard

The Ravens need some help at receiver. Can Cheeseburger Eddie play? Probably. But honestly, more Cheeseburger Eddie is a good thing even if he stinks.

[divider]

washington redskins logo17. Washington Redskins

Julian Washington, RB — Any Given Sunday

Washington grabs a running back with a ton of talent in Julian Washington. The last name is just a coincidence.

[divider]

tennessee titans logo18. Tennessee Titans

Forrest Gump, KR — Forrest Gump

Tennessee landed a stud defender with its first pick, now they grab a special teams whiz in the fastest player in the draft. Hopefully their playbook is simple.

[divider]

tampa bay buccaneers logo19. Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Brian Murphy, TE — The Replacements

Time for Jameis Winston to learn sign language — the Buccaneers grab a talented tight end with the 19th pick.

[divider]

denver broncos logo20. Denver Broncos

Billy Bob, OT — Varsity Blues

How many concussions has he had? John Elway isn't concerned. 

[divider]

detroit lions logo21. Detroit Lions

Thad Castle, LB — Blue Mountain State

The Lions grab a high-energy player with the 21st pick. His off-the-field antics could be a distraction. Well, maybe his on-the-field antics, too.

[divider]

miami dolphins logo22. Miami Dolphins

Louie Lastik, OG — Remember the Titans

The Dolphins want to beef up their protection with the giant offensive guard. Mission accomplished.

[divider]

new york giants logo23. New York Giants

Earl Megget, RB — The Longest Yard

New York could solidify their backfield with one of the smoothest runners in the draft. Plus, maybe Nelly can coax some personality out of Eli Manning.

[divider]

oakland raiders logo24. Oakland Raiders

Steve Lattimer, DE/LB – The Program

The only reason Lattimer is still on the board is rumors of steroid use. Issues aside, Lattimer's craziness fits right in with the Raiders.

[divider]

houston texans logo25. Houston Texans

Paul Crewe, QB — The Longest Yard

The Houston Texans are in need of a quarterback, and grab Paul Crewe to head up the offense. Since Adam Sandler is already off of the board, they get the Burt Reynolds version (Which is the better version).

 

[divider]

seattle seahawks logo26. Seattle Seahawks

Becky "Icebox" O'Shea, LB – Little Giants

Seattle can make use of versatile defenders. If she doesn't pan out, just throw her in at guard, that doesn't seem out of character for the Seahawks.

[divider]

kansas city chiefs logo27. Kansas City Chiefs

Charlie Tweeder, WR – Varsity Blues

Kansas City needs a decent wide receiver, and Tweeder could bring some of his "swag" to the Chiefs, too.

[divider]

dallas cowboys logo28. Dallas Cowboys

Tim Riggins, FB — Friday Night Lights (TV)

Great offensive line? Check. Talented young running back? Check. Now someone to pave the way. Riggins is a stretch as a first round pick, but, you know, Texas Forever.

[divider]

green bay packers logo29. Green Bay Packers

Petey Jones, CB — Remember the Titans

From a cocky running back to a star defensive back, Petey Jones takes his talents to Green Bay. 

[divider]

pittsburgh steelers logo30. Pittsburgh Steelers

Danny Bateman, LB – The Replacements

Danny Bateman has Pittsburgh Steelers written all over him. Moving on.

[divider]

atlanta falcons logo31. Atlanta Falcons

Andre Krimm, DT — Necessary Roughness

Sinbad to the Falcons? Sure, why not.

[divider]

new orleans saints logo32. New Orleans Saints (from Patriots)

Ronnie “Sunshine” Bass, QB — Remember the Titans

New Orleans needs a quarterback of the future, so why not bring a little "Sunshine" to the Big Easy?

[divider]

These teams don't draft in the first round — here's their first picks:

los angeles rams logo2 (37). L.A. Rams

Jake Berman – Little Giants

Does anyone trust the Rams' drafting abilities at this point?

[divider]

minnesota vikings logo3 (48). Minnesota Vikings

Air Bud, WR — Air Bud: Golden Receiver

This feels like a Minnesota thing to do.

[divider]

new england patriots logo3 (72 — From Panthers) New England Patriots

Alan Bosley, CB — Remember the Titans

Less than average cornerback in the middle of the draft? Sounds like the Patriots.

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